Biddy B – Mr. James Bidgood’s advice columnist friend, is back, just in time for spring, with some corrections to her last column and a rollicking story about bumps and grinds that ultimately results in the discovery of a long lost piece of artwork! It’s wild and strange, but very entertaining, as usual! – ed.
First off allow me to apologize for the misspelling of Mrs. Blatourbotum’s name in my column of last month. Her brief disappearance necessitated my hiring a temporary amanuensis, a Miss Harriet Johnsons. I assumed when she gave no explanation for this plurality perhaps she merely entertained a preference for more than the one Johnson. Indulge me now whilst I momentarily play the punster but she hardly seemed the type to be a typist.
Neither she nor does any other person have the least notion why for a second career she selected desk duty after forty two years performing as an ecdysiast, a profession she was made to abandon due to injury incurred trying to keep up with the tsunami of competitors amongst those currently popular female vocalists.
As the story goes, she was exhibiting her talents at a neighborhood firehouse one weekend and whilst executing a grind and bump, having completed the hip rotating portion, she thrust her abdomen out and upward so aggressively, her contracted gluteus minimus, medius and maximus became stuck and soon after fossilized. More…